Who Ya Gonna Call?

by Lillian Csernica on October 6, 2023

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I have mixed feelings about paranormal investigation. Let me say up front that I am not a paranormal investigator. I make no claims to any form of expertise in that field. What I do know is based on reading a whole lot about the supernatural and related folklore around the world. I write and publish fiction based on fifty years of persistent fascination with things that go bump in the night.

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There are genuine investigators out there, people who have been trained in the scientific method along with the kind of investigative techniques used by law enforcement agencies. The most credible examples I’ve come across are Amy Allan, Cindy Kaza and Steve DiSchavi of The Dead Files, which has been running on the Travel Channel since 2011, now available on Discovery+. Whether or not one chooses to believe the results of their investigations, I think the show is worth watching. The variety of paranormal problems and the solutions suggested are based on solid research. All too often I’ve come across the recycled basics, the grab-and-go kinds of paranormal cliches that come from superficial research regurgitated by people who just parrot what they pick up from other amateur paranormal YouTube channels and don’t bother doing their own homework.

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Speaking of which, a case could be made for saying the most well-known paranormal investigation show is Ghost Adventures, headed up by Zak Bagans and his team. Their show premiered on The Travel Channel in 2008. Zak Bagans’ technique back then involved provoking the spirits with a variety of rude and stupid remarks. It’s in very poor taste to disrespect the dead and try to make money from doing so. I hated that, I hated Zak Bagans, and I hated the show. There was nothing to it, just a lot of leveraging the power of suggestion and the ghost hunting gizmos going off at dramatic moments.

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Let’s think about this. Suppose you were in mourning, spending every moment of every day trapped in the endless pain of your grief. You’re cut off from the life you’d been living, from the person or people you’d built your life around. The last thing you’d want to deal with is a bunch of TikTok wannabes running around the place you inhabit, badgering you with questions about private matters that are none of their business. They bring with them lots of cameras and sound equipment and all the gizmos favored by ghost hunters who are desperate for any kind of “evidence” that will get them more followers. I feel a great deal of sympathy for whatever spirits suffer this kind of onslaught. These “paranormal investigators” just keep nagging and poking around and trying to stir up trouble until they get anything they can construe as a response. If I was the ghost being exploited this way, I’d want to lash out just to give these jerks what they want so they’d pack up and go home.

The trouble is, they don’t just go home. They get on social media and tell everybody they got results, which brings even more mobs of wannabe Zak Bagans barging into the location with the same equipment and the same lack of genuine compassion. With this in mind, I was overjoyed to discover this excerpt of a stand up routine by comedian Matteo Lane.

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