Tag Archives: prayer

X is for Crosses (Art Nouveau – #AtoZChallenge)


by Lillian Csernica on April 28, 2017

x

X is one of the more difficult letters in the A to Z Challenge. Fortunately, the popularity of art nouveau extended into religious imagery as well. This resulted in a dazzling variety of pendants and rosaries.

Vibrant Art Nouveau Champlevé Enamel Antique Cross Pendant

e45992fa44c0bbdad3aeca96a62ad510

etsy.com

Vintage Spanish Art Nouveau Cross

This large Art Nouveau cross pendant is made in 22 K gold composed of one square-cut amethyst surrounded by four baguette-cut raspberry-pink amethysts. Each amethyst is encrusted in the center with a platinum-on-gold collet-set antique single-cut diamond. The colorful amethysts are set in a floral motive, enhanced with 16 antique single-cut diamonds set in a collet setting made in platinum on gold. Probably Belgium, circa 1900.

fa27931fb8f87a7e57c1d5c308fa3a10

etsy.com

Large Antique French Rosary Crucifix/Cross Art Nouveau / Mother of Pearl Beads / Art Nouveau Connector/ Hand Carved MOP Crucifix.

Early 1900s 18k yellow gold crucifix featuring blue and orange glass and plique-a-jour enamel. Signed by P.L. Dasset.

ba0f54519656794354dc95ce84faf42f

nelsonrarities.com

Art Nouveau Montana Sapphire And Carved Gold Cross.

0246b05e87c052b1fd53a23430c082b3

BeverlyHillsAntiques.com

Antique Art Nouveau 18k Diamonds Cross Pendant

 

2 Comments

Filed under #atozchallenge, Art Nouveau, artists, Blog challenges, charity, creativity, Eastern Orthodox Christianity, history, mother

My Personal Chariot of Fire


by Lillian Csernica on January 20, 2016

“Then Elisha prayed and said, “O Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” And the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” (2 Kings 6:17). All around them, but beyond the capabilities of the five human physical senses, was all the protection necessary. Elisha would be no prisoner that day. His would be captors would be.”

Today I picked up my car.  Today I drove it home from the dealership.  Today I stopped at the grocery store, I put gas in the car, and I drove home.

I was not afraid.  I did not have an anxiety attack.  In fact, I was happy and excited.

I have been a prisoner of my own fears about driving for a long time now.  Almost thirty years.  It’s called learned helplessness, and it’s born of a vicious emotional cycle that includes hopelessness and depression.

Another condition I battle on a daily basis is anticipatory anxiety.  This robs the future of hope and positive thinking.  I told myself I wasn’t afraid of my driving.  I was afraid of everybody else on the road who drove like maniacs, speeding and changing lanes without signalling and coming right up on my rear bumper like they wanted to shove my car aside.  That was true enough.  I think the real truth was, I could no longer face the responsibility of being the driver.

When I was in the car accident that did in fact kill me, my driving had very little to do with what happened.  My employer had assured me he’d replaced the two right tires on the company car, which were worn down to the point of being dangerous.  He lied to me.  I trusted him, so when we loaded the car that night for the drive from Long Beach to San Francisco, I believed him and I did not check the tires myself.

“Put not your faith in princes and sons of men, in whom there is no salvation.  When his breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish.”  (Ps. 146:3-4)

Five years ago I took two sets of driving lessons to brush up on my driving skills.  My teacher said I’m a good driver.  I have good reaction time and I’m good at judging braking distance.  I have driven on Hwy 17 all the way down to Capitola and back in the car with my teacher.

And yet, I still couldn’t internalize that knowledge to the extent that I would agree to pick out a car and drive it.  My husband said he’d get me a car, but not until he was sure I would in fact use it, and use it all the time.

Why now?  Why did I suddenly stand up last Saturday and say, “Fine.  Let’s do it today.”?  All I can say is the time was right, and I was ready.  We found a car that was everything I wanted, at a price we could afford.  It was raining, but I didn’t let that hold me back.  I got into the car and I test drove it so my husband could listen to the engine.  I was alert, I was focused, and I kept moving forward through the process of evaluating and the buying the car.

My car has become my chariot of fire.  Just as Divine Protection was present but unseen for the Prophet Elisha, so I believe God is watching out for me.  I may not always have faith in myself, but I do have faith in God.  Just look at what we went through this past summer with Michael’s hospital stay.  When Michael needed a priest, Fr. Ninos got there before the ICU team took Michael to be prepped for surgery.  I still don’t know how Fr. Ninos got there so quickly, but he did, and I give thanks every day that my boy is still alive and healthy.

When the depression has been really bad, I have begged God to help me get better.  I have prayed for strength and for courage and for the determination to defeat all the symptoms that have crippled me emotionally, kept me from writing, and prevented me from being a functional member of my family.

“The Lord is my  light and my salvation; whom then shall I fear?” (Ps. 12:1)

It’s time to move on.  No more thinking I’m helpless.  No more being afraid.

2441707836_6b8a14cb41

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Depression, Eastern Orthodox Christianity, Family, frustration, Goals, hospital, perspective, Self-image, therapy, worry, Writing

Another Hospital Stay, Part 2


by Lillian Csernica on August 1, 2015

I’ve been MIA because I’ve spent most of the past ten days at the hospital with Michael, and most of those days in the ICU.

The Baclofen pump replacement went well.  No redness, swelling, etc. at the incision site.  No problems in the Recovery room.

Then matters started to get complicated.  Instead of sending Michael to the Surgical floor, somebody in his or her infinite wisdom sent him to the Rehab floor.  The reasoning?  The staff on the Surgical floor weren’t as familiar with the Ketogenic Diet, and besides, the kids with Baclofen pumps all go to the Rehab floor.

Michael developed an infection.  Other bad things happened, but let me just say his left lung took a hit.  That’s his most vulnerable area.  His breathing was compromised, and sure enough, it looked like pneumonia.  I don’t want to hear the P-word.  That has been Michael’s #1 enemy for most of his life.

After two days on the Rehab floor, I had a polite, even-tempered, but very firm hissy fit.  Michael needed more aggressive care.  He should be sent to the ICU immediately.  The charge nurse agreed with me and called the ICU.  One of their attending physicians came to evaluate Michael.  The doctor asked me a few key questions about Michael’s history, then told the team of Pediatric M.D.s on the Rehab floor Michael did indeed need to be in the ICU.

This is why I work so hard to be calm and polite when I’m dealing with the medics.  I know when to get angry, and I know when to panic.  I also know how to make these feelings clear without actually taking them out on people such as the R.N.s who are always busting their butts, or the respiratory therapists, or the other People Who Aren’t Doctors.  Oakland Children’s Hospital is a teaching hospital, so there are teams of residents under the supervision of the attending physicians.  They do things a certain way in teaching hospitals, and that’s important to bear in mind.  I really liked the Pediatric residents who took care of Michael.  He’s just a complicated guy and needed what can be done better in the ICU.

Two days ago Michael’s kidneys and liver shut down.  Chris and I were living in absolute terror that Michael would need a liver transplant.  The liver specialist explained the whole evaluation process to us, the waiting list, the length of the surgery, and even what would happen if Michael rejected the transplant or was considered a bad transplant risk.  He would not survive more than a week.

I don’t EVER want to have this kind of conversation with a doctor again.

The good news is Michael is on dialysis right now and that’s helping matters.  His breathing is much better, with less equipment strapped to his face to help him breathe.  The kidneys and liver are amazing organs capable of considerable recovery.  Michael seems to be on his way to getting over all this, but we still have to be cautious.  Another infection, another fever, and all this progress would be lost.

I want to say a loud public thank you to my parish priest, Archpriest Basil Rhodes of St. Nicholas Russian Orthodox Church in Saratoga, CA.  He called a number of priests who reside in or near Oakland.  Fr. Ninos Oshaana was the first to arrive.  He said a molieben over Michael and anointed him with Holy Unction.  Fr. Ninos moved so quickly he got there before Michael was taken into surgery for the implantation of the dialysis catheter.  God bless you, Fr. Ninos!

I go back to the hospital tomorrow, suitcase in hand, to stay there or at the Family House nearby until Michael comes home.  Please keep us in your prayers.

11 Comments

Filed under Baclofen pump, Depression, doctors, Eastern Orthodox Christianity, Family, frustration, hospital, mother, Special needs, specialists, surgery, worry, Writing