by Lillian Csernica on April 3, 2015
Admit it, you were expecting Conan, right? Clash of the Titans is far more deserving of its place on this list. The original movie is full of bad dialogue, actors chewing on the scenery, boring costumes, and a really annoying clockwork owl, but at least it had the amazing talents of Ray Harryhausen behind its mythical creatures.
The story is simple enough. The gods of Olympus are busy cheating on each other and taking it out on the mortals involved. One of Zeus’ affairs results in Perseus, the hero who must capture Pegasus, solve a riddle or die trying, outwit the cursed Calibos, and battle the dreaded Medusa. These challenges enable him to face the ultimate test, rescuing Princess Andromeda before the Kraken can devour her.
The movie boasts a really impressive cast. It made a surprising amount of money, and it lingers on in the memories of all of us who are devoted to the sword & sorcery genre. There are several scenes that make the movie look much more low-budget that it really was. For a complete list of the consistency errors and other mistakes that made it into the film, see the imdb.com page.
The 2010 remake relies on CGI and way too much of it. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the producers pushed back the release date so they could bring the movie out in 3D format. This cast includes Liam Neeson (Zeus), Ralph Fiennes (Hades), Mads Mikkelsen (Draco), and Jason Flemyng (Calibos). Sam Worthington plays Perseus. Worthington, Neeson, and Fiennes reprised their roles in the sequel, Wrath of the Titans, which was intended to be 3D from the beginning. This proved to be no help, and the sequel got even worse reviews than the remake.
Speaking of really terrible sequels, I can’t leave the letter C without mentioning Conan the Destroyer, sequel to Conan the Barbarian. The sequel turned out to be so cheesy it earned the nickname “Conan the Disappointing.” The single most telling detail about how bad this movie really is comes near the end when Conan is muscling his way through some rocks that have collapsed and blocked the passageway. You can see the foam boulders compressing under Conan’s weight as he elbows his way forward commando-style.