The Art of Being Random on Purpose

by Lillian Csernica on January 7, 2014

The writer’s group I’m in opted for the prompt “Random Thoughts.”  The prompts are optional.  This one struck no particular chord with me, so I was pretty sure I’d be giving it a miss.  Then I thought, wait a minute, don’t dodge it just because it takes some effort to rise to the challenge.  Define your terms your way.  Make your own rules for this game.  Above all, WRITE SOMETHING!

Being truly random is a difficult challenge when I’ve spent so much time training my mind to organize thoughts and ideas. As I tried to come up with a way to tackle this challenge, one of my more peculiar hobbies came in handy. I keep all the fortunes I get from fortune cookies. My friends and family know I do this, so they tend to give me theirs as well. Over the years I’ve collected at least two jars full of fortunes. I pulled out a handful of fortunes and plucked a dozen of them from the pile. These would be the answers to twelve questions. I wrote out the twelve questions, just going with whatever popped into mind. I cut up the questions into twelve strips of paper and mixed them up, setting them aside in one pile face down. The fortunes were already waiting in another pile. I sat down at my keyboard, grabbed a question and typed it in, then snatched up an answer and typed that below the question.  These are the results:

Q: What makes life worth living?

A: A goal is a dream with a deadline.

OK.  This one makes sense.

Q: Who knows the secret of eternal youth?

A: You will soon be crossing desert sands for a fun vacation.

Uh oh.  Is that what Ponce de Leon did?

Q: What advice would you give to your granddaughter?

A: Look closely at your surroundings.

Now that’s some serious advice.  It’s the first rule my self-defense teacher taught us.

Q: How do you solve the problem of time travel?

A: Good fortune is always on your side.

You’d better hope so, just in case the Daleks are waiting!

Q: Where can you find true Paradise on earth?

A: You are always welcome in any gathering.

I can hear the “Cheers” theme song playing…..

Q: What did the monkey say to the banana?

A: Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It is your destiny.

Does this qualify as inscrutable?

Q: How do you bring a smile to the sourest face?

A: You must learn to broaden your horizons, day by day.

Another one that makes sense.  The world is full of wonders!

Q: I’ve lost my car keys and I have no money. Now what?

A: You are a lover of words.

I interpret this as “Talk your way out of this one!”

Q: How does one restore lost innocence?

A: An unexpected payment is coming your way.

Hm.  Found money means you can cover your trail?

Q: Why are word problems always so confusing?

A: Laughter shall fuel your spirit’s engine.

Works for me.

Q: Why are we told there are always more fish in the sea?

A: Little brooks make great rivers.

The bigger the body of water, the better the selection of fish?

Q: What do you get if you cross a rhino with a stapler?

A: Follow your instincts when making decisions.

In other words, do you really think it’s a good idea to try crossing a rhino with a stapler?