Happy 4th of July!


by Lillian Csernica on July 4, 2013

Chris has taken Michael and John to watch the local fireworks display.  I think fireworks are wonderful, but here I am at home.  I’m not fond of crowds, traffic, or the sound of mortar fire, to say nothing of the availability or lack thereof re restrooms.  Mom took me to see fireworks every year when I was a kid, and I’ve seen Disneyland’s amazing displays, so I figure I’m good.

 

Now, in an effort to lighten up given the general trend of my latest posts, I am here to entertain you with some of my favorite jokes:

How do you know when a blonde has been using the computer?   There’s White-Out (correction fluid) on the monitor screen.

How do you know when another blonde has been using the same computer?    There’s ink on the White-Out.

 

The redhead sister says to the blonde sister: “Oh wow, I just slept with a Brazilian!”

The blonde sister says to the redhead sister:  “Oh my God!  You total slut!  How many is a brazillion?”

 

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar.  The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

 

What’s the mating call of the blonde?  “I am, like, SO drunk!”

What’s the mating call of the brunette?  “Has that stupid blonde left yet?”

What’s the mating call of the redhead?   “NEXT!”

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.

 

A blonde goes to the doctor.  When the doctor asks her what’s wrong, she puts her pointer finger on her forehead and says, “It hurts here,” then pokes her thigh, “and here,” then her stomach, “and here,” then her other arm.  “And here!  Doctor, tell me, what’s wrong with me?”  The doctor says, “Your finger is broken.”

 

What do you call five blondes lined up shoulder to shoulder?  A wind tunnel!

 

If nothing else, I expect these jokes will cause some fireworks, especially among the blondes in the audience!  Let the record show that my best friend, Patricia H. MacEwen, is blonde.  My other best friend, Juliette Wade, is also blonde.  These are two of the smartest women you could ever hope to meet, so please understand the jokes are just friendly rivalry between this brunette and all the blondes out there who fit into bikinis so well!  😀

 

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2 Comments

Filed under Family, Humor, Writing

2 responses to “Happy 4th of July!

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