by Lillian Csernica on June 19, 2013
So here I sit at my keyboard, contemplating today’s Writing To Do List:
1) Write Nightmare #10 reviews for Tangent Online.
2) Get my flash fiction ready for the Big Event this Saturday.
3) Push on with the edit of the Japanese historical novel.
4) Socialize media-wise for the day.
Michael’s seizure threshold is down, so he’s having multiple small seizures. John’s fixation with Aladdin‘s genie lamp is in full swing again, meaning the latest one arrived in today’s mail and he’s already talking about the next one he wants to buy. The new nurse starts on Saturday. First I had no ride to the appointment I have tomorrow morning, then I had two due to communications unknown to me by members of my family, and now I’m down to one once I got that straightened out.
Being a responsible adult is such a pain in the butt. I have at last reached the stage where I know it does in fact beat the alternative. Someone I know once made a comment about “teenagers with gray hair and wrinkles.” I know a few of those, and I know I don’t want to be one. I’m all for enjoying one’s second childhood, but I’m not that fond of people who refuse to grow up. The Peter Pan Syndrome is not as charming as some people like to think, especially when the attendant irresponsibility makes life harder for the rest of us. I’ve been a caregiver since I was eight years old, thanks to being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. These days I have to keep an eye on my mother for signs of anything that could mean serious trouble. She can still take care of herself, it’s just that some of the parts are beginning to wear out.
It’s hard to step out of our own individual little worlds and take responsibility for what happens in our part of the larger world. It’s hard to do the work before we play. It’s hard to watch other people who have lives that are so much easier than our own. Some days it just sucks to be us. And that’s just how life is.
Allow me to share with you the secret of staying sane amid the pressures of a normally hectic life, to say nothing of the life lived by those of us in the special needs community:
Always have something to look forward to doing. Large or small, give yourself something that keeps you looking ahead in happy anticipation.
Maybe it’s that novel you’ve been dying to get your hands on. Maybe it’s that nap you’ve been promising yourself. Maybe it’s getting somebody to take care of the kids for the weekend while you run off to lock yourself into a hotel room somewhere and write like a maniac, eat whatever you want, then watch bad TV. (OK, so that’s my personal fantasy. Sounds good, though, doesn’t it?) Figure out what floats your boat, what lifts your spirits, and keep that list somewhere handy. Build one of those items into your day, your week, your month, whatever you can manage and, more importantly, on a basis regular enough to do you the good you need.
Tonight it’s Wednesday. John just came in to remind me it’s Family Night. He baked chocolate chip cookies, and now he’s waiting for me to come watch TV with him. Gotta go!